Being in your 20s is such a roller coaster of thoughts and emotions. After finishing a certain degree of studies, you feel the urge to go out of your comfort zone, which is your parents’ house. The National Longitudinal Survey of Youth 1997 shows that about 90% of people had moved out at least once before turning 27. More than half of them had returned to their parental house sometime after that. This is such a huge step that you are to take, especially when planning to live with your partner, so you better take time to sit down and ask yourself some hard questions.
So here are the things you need to ponder upon before packing all your stuff, calling a moving company, and living with your significant other:
1. Why are you doing this?
Have you done some introspection? You have to assess why you are doing this. Do you genuinely want to proceed to the next chapter of your life, or are there some issues at home that you want to run away from? What are your gains, and what are your losses? Are you ready for it? Not just mentally but emotionally and financially ready for it. You’ve seen the statistics. More than half of those who chose to move eventually retreated. Your why must be strong enough so you will not be a part of the 50%. Of course, there is no certainty about how everything would play out, but you have to know your why. You have to be crystal clear about your intentions.
2. What do your parents say about it?
You may feel like you are an adult who wants to finally be independent, so you are considering this major leap. But have you consulted your parents about it? This is still somehow connected to the first one because you have to ensure that you are making a rational decision and not an emotional one. You also have to consider your parents’ opinion because they’ve lived with you and provided for you the best way they know how.
This will also be another story if you are the breadwinner or contribute a significant amount to your family’s expenses since your action will not only affect you but the entire household. No sane parent would raise their kid just to let them head in an uncertain direction so remember that they are still your parents. Ask for their opinion and aim to leave on good terms.
3. Have you thought that this is just not like buying something from a store and then returning it after seeing that it doesn’t suit your needs?
Yep. This is real life, and we are talking about your direction should you opt for the path of moving out. And although you can always go back to your parents’ home, provided they didn’t rent out your room or turn it into a stock room, this step will entail a lot of your time, energy, and money. The reason your parents’ house is considered a comfort zone is because it is! You wake up, and there are blueberry pancakes served before you, the ref is filled with groceries, and sometimes your mom even does your laundry.
The Wi-Fi signal is excellent; you never concern yourself with plumbing or electrical issues because your dad is there to fix all of it, and when weekends come, they’re pretty chill. Once you move out, you say goodbye to all that, and the same level of comfort is not guaranteed. Also, you’ll be living with another individual. Yes, you’ve been together for a while, but you’ve never lived together before. There are several things you have yet to find out.
4. Have you and your significant other come up with a long-term plan?
Where are you both going to live? Are you going to rent an apartment, take a housing loan, live with others to cut the cost, or what? What are your plans? You cannot just pack your stuff up and live off with your love. What will be your setup? How can you cover the monthly cost of living? Do you see yourself marrying this person, or will you make this a trial period? Developing a long-term plan would help you both navigate your lives once they’re intertwined. You must have a long and serious talk and never move without a solid plan as well as a contingent one.
If you could obtain answers that are leaning toward actually making the move, then good luck with your new journey. You probably have tons of stuff you have accumulated over the years that you’d still want to bring with you to cut the expenses. So you might want to hire a mover to ease your transfer, especially if you and your partner have decided to move from one city or state to another. Also, don’t forget to enjoy the ride.